Chosen Tools

Knowledge is Powerful

Focus Catcher

Have you ever seen someone who always is able to remain calm under any circumstance? Do you wonder how they do it? The ability to understand our own feelings as well as the feelings of others is one of the greatest gifts, we can give to ourselves and our children!

The Whole Brain Child by Dr. Dan Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson Payne teaches us that by directing our attention, we can go from being influenced by factors within and around us to influencing them. When we become aware of our own emotions and forces at work around or within us, we can acknowledge and accept them without allowing them to define us. The ability to shift our focus and not remain stuck in our emotions is skill that takes practice to master.

We have created an exercise to do with your children to help your them change the way they feel by simply choosing to shift focus of their attention.


  1. On each side, write down the answers to pleasant and unpleasant thoughts and feelings.
  2. Once both sides are done, fold and glue or tape together.
  3. Hang the picture where it can be flipped. (One kiddo made a necklace!)
  4. Use it as a demonstration to how when our mind is feeling an unpleasant thoughts, we can shift to another.
Download Exercise

I'm Sorry Tickets

It’s not what you do IF you mess up in parenting; what matters is what you do WHEN you mess up.” This is a statement that we share with foster and adoptive parents on the regular! We are all going to make mistakes in parenting – it’s a guarantee! The important thing is to intentionally fix the break in the relationship when we should have responded differently to our kiddos. Whether we speak sharply, give too much screen time, or have a full-blown “come apart,” we must own up to our mistakes, apologize, and seek forgiveness from our children. Our friends at the Karyn Purvis Institute for Childhood Development tell us in this blog that healing actually happens when we do this vital work called “repairing.” Repeatedly, we have seen foster, kinship and adoptive families build stronger bonds when they learn to do the work of repairing after a rupture. To make this a little easier, we’ve created this printable so that you have a tool to use with your kiddos when you need to apologize and make things right. Give these “tickets” to your kids when you need to apologize, and you’ll be modeling what you long for them to do when they mess up. Before long, your kiddos will be filling out these tickets for themselves.


For more on repairing watch our Coffee with Chosen videos.

Download Printout

Parenting Expectations within Marriage

Want to strengthen your marriage, your parenting and your family all at once? Parents take this quiz about differing expectations separately then sit down and discuss the results together. The goal is not to agree on everything, but to understand each other and discuss a unified “team” approach with the kids.  We don’t feel truly loved until we feel understood. Take time to understand your spouse and how they view the parenting challenges at home.

For more on expectations of kids, parents and more, check out our Chosen Blog  and our Coffee with Chosen videos.

Download Quiz

Check In with Your Kids and Yourself

Remember to  CHECK-IN for a CHANGE. A change in kids’ attitudes, your outlook and everyone’s peace of mind. Share your kids’ coloring pages with us! Post them online and tag us on Facebook or Instagram.  Stick them on the fridge as a reminder and touchpoint.

Learn more about how to CHECK- IN on Coffee with Chosen !

 Download Coloring Page

One simple activity to teach self-regulation

This simple exercise is one of the primary ways you can help your children and your family understand and adjust their emotions and behavior.

This exercise and unique tool can help you have conversations with your children about how they are feeling and explore ways to help them adjust their emotions and actions.  We encourage families to make an engine plate and put in on the fridge or somewhere visible to deepen the concept and heighten the opportunity for use and impact.  It is best to talk about how your own body is running  first and how you make adjustments to feel calm.  This helps your children understand that the tool is not just for them but benefits you as well.


Read more about teaching self-regulation on the Chosen Blog

Download Exercise
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