Love Wasn’t Enough
Heidi and Matt* felt called to care for the orphan after watching other families in their church adopt. With several thriving biological children, they thought they had enough experience and love in their hearts to parent one more. They accepted the referral of a toddler with trauma, neglect and abuse. When we met Hannah and Matt four years after the adoption, they felt isolated, their marriage was in jeopardy, and they had no idea how to parent their adopted child whose behaviors were wreaking havoc in their home. Frankly, neither Heidi nor Matt even liked their adopted daughter. Matt would frequently tell Heidi that he wished they could turn back time to before the adoption and find a different way to help orphans. Love was not enough to help their daughter with her trauma.
After 9 months in Chosen’s program, this family is on the road to healing. Heidi doesn’t feel as isolated because she has the support of a compassionate mentor. Both parents have received significant amounts of education regarding parenting techniques that work with a child who has experienced trauma. Chosen is helping them use the results of an Adult Attachment Interview to understand how their past hurts are affecting attachment to their daughter. After making significant changes in their home, their marriage is more stable, they are experiencing less stress, and their adopted daughter’s behaviors have drastically improved.
Love got this family started on their adoption journey, but the right tools are transforming them from hurting to healing.
*Names changed to protect privacy.